Although every year one turkey or sometimes even two are pardoned by the President, another 50 million will be consumed per Thanksgiving Day in this truly blessed land. While the number of vegetarians in the United States has increased in recent years, even one-third of sufferers admit that after a few drinks, they eat down swarms of animal meat. And considering that Thanksgiving is one of the busiest American holidays, on Turkey Day it will become an alcoholic who gets put off track (for some) ethical positions, as tons of smoldering turkey piles are consumed by the literal shiploads ,  But why traditionally prepare a turkey with proven culinary methods, when you can just as easily risk life, limb and homestead to bring your feast to perfection with a jet engine? What is more American than finishing the Flamin Hot Cheetos turkey recipe with a blowtorch? Absolutely nothing. Totally rhetorical.
In the oversized land, the free is always bigger and the worse. If the early American colonists taught us anything, it was certainly one or two lessons on overkill. So sit back, relax, pull out the bibs and enjoy the totally unnecessary ways to systematically turn a Thanksgiving turkey into carbon.
Just fry it with your Lambo
Last but not least, a Tymer kitchen suitable for Big. If you have a candy-painted Lamborghini, take every opportunity to showcase it. Even if it is conspicuous and inefficient to use exhaust gas coils to prepare your Thanksgiving holiday. Since you seem to be just burning money, you could put a butterball in the $ 15,000 trash container fire.
Can your Mercury Topaz do that? Close.
Torch it to death with this thing
If we love one more than glazed crab crabs, then it's monster truck stuff – a normal twofer. What is that abomination you ask? Oh, that's the Flash Fire Jet Truck with a "fire breathing 12,000 horsepower jet engine" tapped on its back for full effect. Just hang your favorite butterball somewhere, somewhere behind this beast, and dinner is almost without exception.
To be honest, this turkey was born solely for the purpose of being brutally depressed with a shop vacuum that was slowly roasted in carbon dioxide emissions. Then you step through our inner life into your next life.
Maybe a few flashlights?
The real lightsaber FlashTorch flashlight is strong enough to ignite combustible materials on contact and even fry an egg. We had the opportunity to test one of those bad guys in the office, and believe it or not, it's just as frightening in person. Apparently, some people have tried to cook a turkey with a jury-rigged apparatus of alarming flashlights. Will the meat rot with this method before it is fully cooked? Yes. Do you risk a high probability of food-borne illnesses with this approach? Also yes. The choice is yours.
Texas, Turkey: Boiling It in a Dustbin
With the Lone Star State leading the nation in Thanksgiving for Fats and Cooks for seven consecutive years, it's no surprise that this proud Texan brought cooking outdoors , just to be sure. While there are higher-quality and slightly more informative step-by-step Trashcan turkey tutorials online, none of them holds a candle to the sheer cinematic gold seen above. Remember that your welding gloves are at hand, because this bin is "mucho caliente". That's Spanish for "a lot of hot", especially.
Hell Likes the Sun
A few years ago, some NASA hard-working people had found some clever ways to prepare a turkey with some of the space agency's most sophisticated gadgets. This ranged from a barrel of the mill satellite dish and some Kapton to the stowing of a turkey on a solar probe.
When the agency launches the Parker solar probe next summer, it will consider taking a turkey in tow. Given that the extra weight should cost only $ 150,000 to launch into the cosmos, this is reasonable enough. The probe will have an orbit of just 4 million miles from the sun and experience temperatures of up to 2,500 degrees Fahrenheit – more than enough to bring these 13 herbs and spices to temp. – a discarded, twice-baked, antibiotic-resistant, genetically engineered turkey who drives through the interstellar space that is supposed to burn in a strange atmosphere as a shooting star? Absolutely nothing.